ABOUT ME!
As you can probably guess, I'm just a youngster with a heart to serve God.
I was in a very dark place of my life where everything seemed so meaningless, the same mundane job, doom scrolling through Tiktoks, downloading new games to play and playing them for a while investing so much energy time and brain on them only to get bored of it and delete it soon after. Tried to read the bible but didn't understand anything to the point that I stopped myself and got myself distracted again. When I returned home, my mother kept asking me, "What happened? Why are you so sad?" I couldn't even fool her with the smile I put on. I was far from God.
One Saturday I went to church and tried to worship Him but my voice didn't reach Him. I knew because I couldn't feel His presence like I normally could during worship. My voice was soft and it was hard to sing when the lyrics were slapping me in the face. That moment was the turning point. I hated that feeling of not even being able to worship the one who created me. To not feel His love and warmth. Usually, when I worshipped it rejuvenated me but this time I was just tired and irritated. That week I cried out to God whilst listening to 'You Make Me Brave' by Bethel Music and 'Nothing Else' by Cody Carnes. I cried out "Lord forgive me for my sins, forgive me for my negligence. Forgive me for I have strayed away from you and held other things greater than you....
Lord bring me back. Pull me back in to your arms. Fill me with your holy spirit again. Nothing Else matters in this world. Without you Lord, life is not worth living. Give me true joy again! Fill me with your love! I have wasted 20 years of my life. I want to live the rest all for you oh God. I Love you Lord!" And right then and there, my sorrow turned to joy. I began singing along to the song, "You Make me Brave! You Make me Brave!" I got my joy back. I felt His love pour on me again. Jesus filled up the God-sized whole in my heart. I had a surge of energy to sing and dance. All I could think about was God's love for me. His faithfulness. He was waiting for me to call out to Him.
And I have not felt depressed since then. Not one bit. I can do everything with joy and zeal knowing that I have God with me. My situation didn't change much at that time BUT my attitude and perspective changed completely. Nothing on this earth can fill up your God-sized hole in your heart. It's literally like a puzzle missing piece. Games, women, money and hobbies may cover/hide that spot for a while but will never fit inside the puzzle. That's why you're always chasing after new sensations, new trends, new games, new women, new possessions. All temporary. Only God is eternal and makes you whole. Ever since that day I have been reading the bible and been able to understand quickly what God is saying through it. I've been worshipping my heart out and spreading joy and peace to the people around me.
I hope with these blogs I can inspire you to call out to Him as well. Experience JOY. Fill that hole in your heart with something that's everlasting, never needing anything more as long as you have that intimacy with God.
He's waiting for you.
The blogs may be typed by me but I want to make it clear that God has shared these words with me so I can share them with you. If they were just my own thoughts, I'm not the type of crazy person to create an entire website for them. This was God's will and purpose in my life.
My name is Anugrah, an Indian Christian currently residing in Singapore.
Give glory to God!
Contact Me
...for any thing, even if you just need someone to talk to.
